tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-70260365192298978652012-02-01T09:55:06.060-06:00in the midst again, again, and again - dedicating 2011 to finding TwixTwixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.comBlogger1061100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-56089941160585943622012-01-29T03:50:00.000-06:002012-01-29T03:53:25.434-06:00

I've been cleaning out a long overdue pile of stuff. It's what's barely keeping me here at the moment. Actually in truth, I'm purging out a lot of things. Last night I stripped down one book shelf and dismantled it. Then proceeded to strip another down. Only 12 school books remain on it. So no need for that book shelf. I'll have to dismantle that one to. If it was only books that I have been

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-55199755760662566032012-01-19T10:15:00.000-06:002012-01-19T10:17:59.101-06:00

Just checking in to say I'm still in the quiet. Listening though... :) Thanks for stopping by.

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-35568195049416713862012-01-06T02:07:00.000-06:002012-01-06T02:07:31.731-06:00

Broke the Reuben phase when I ran out of cornbeef. I only bought 2lbs, It could only stretch so far. I went in search of bison dogs at my local grocery and couldn't find any. I've been having a hankering to add some kraut to them. I still have a jar left. Unfortunately no bison available. So what's a hungry gal to do... Instead I bought some ground chicken breast. Wowsers have you seen the price

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-75122563485272073222011-12-28T02:05:00.000-06:002011-12-28T02:10:11.000-06:00

Right now I'm in this reuben eating phase. I'm using this awesome thousand island dressing that is made with yogurt. And this delicious swiss cheese. I'm not interested much in the rye bread. But please pass me the kraut. I gobble that stuff up. Love it! I'm finding comfort in repetitive meal planning. Who knew I could make fudge. I've never made fudge until this past weekend. I surprised

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-654487790577318592011-12-05T05:45:00.000-06:002011-12-05T05:57:36.001-06:00

lalalala...and I feel..... Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrch stop! Wait, what?! It's just December and not the end of the world. But I do feel fine. Aren't you glad it's not the end of the world though? Well after my last blip on the radar with what I wasn't planning on doing for Thanksgiving I had plans on coming back the next day with a list of things that I was and wouldn't you know it, I got busy instead

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-26425475228381622052011-11-22T16:32:00.001-06:002011-11-22T16:32:30.385-06:00

A list of things I won't be doing this Thanksgiving: sticking my fingers down my throat vomiting in the nearest receptacle feeling guilty for having seconds, or even firsts for that matter plate comparison game, I have less than everybody else that must be good - not not eating breakfast standing on the scale staring at the number on the scale hiding in the farthest corner away from

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-14043881215650212862011-11-14T10:15:00.002-06:002011-11-14T10:37:21.169-06:00

First off! Where have I been? I decided I need to step back. In doing so I made the choice to not count or record anything. I can tell you though I ate anything I wanted, nothing I didn't want, and it didn't vary to much from my usual standard diet fare. I can tell you that I did as I wanted and when I wanted to, physically, and it varied greatly from what I had done in the previous month. I

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-41391061263809182762011-11-01T14:55:00.000-05:002011-11-01T14:57:57.633-05:00

In other words goodbye October. Got in 9.5 miles last week. The fluids were about the same as last. The calories as well. The bike ride and the woods got axed. Still time left before the snow flies. Thinking about the upcoming t-day. His mom is coming over. The last time I had her over was a few months back. It wasn't pleasant for any of us, her included. However he invited and she's a coming.

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-13638240863486290022011-10-28T10:10:00.001-05:002011-10-28T10:16:19.937-05:00

These past few weeks I have been trying to be mindful of putting the "I" back into my vocabulary when it comes to circumstances regarding my continued health, healthy weight, and fitness quest. I have been pondering this quote,  "This is the helpless thinking of a victim, which will get you nowhere fast." Where did your mind wonder when you read that? We're all guilty of it at some point or

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-5021174118528793992011-10-26T12:22:00.000-05:002011-10-26T12:22:09.507-05:00

Last week had it's not so fun drama moments. Focusing back where I want to. I walked 9.5 last week. Fluid intake hover in between 60 and 70. Calories were on the higher range. Two days were over 2000, but under 2500. The rest hit close to 1800. That can be a lot of food or a little caloric dense food. I always find it amazing what I can tuck away in 1800 calories, lots! Tops and the bike ride

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-70534595662096918102011-10-17T11:36:00.000-05:002011-10-17T11:36:35.366-05:00

Sunday got away on me. I made a choice not to prioritize posting here, instead I was out living life. It almost happened again today *shock*, but figured while I'm waiting for my lunch to finish I needed to get this off my check list. And I wanted to say HEY to you, hi! :D I'm investigating if the the rock is actually the rabbit. It's all a matter of perception. Perhaps, as well, the wrecked

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-7310763710339482942011-10-14T00:45:00.002-05:002011-10-14T00:45:47.179-05:00

I'm keeping track of the food I eat. I don't like it. It sets off all sorts of negative anxiety. I'm staying within bounds. But - yep there it is - I have eaten things perhaps I shouldn't have. I feel bad about that, guilt included. Not guilt as to what it was. Guilt as to why. Ashamed even. I use food to punish me. You wouldn't want your friend to cut her wrists. Or not eat just because of all

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-11168811180848563902011-10-09T12:35:00.000-05:002011-10-09T12:36:41.573-05:00

Time flies when you're feeling better. Still no rabbit sighting. Is he under the rock? I didn't get nearly as much walking done this week. Only 6 miles, so bummer. It turns out I get less when I'm sick than when I'm taking care of the sick. So I should be happy with both weeks? I don't care what anyone says, walking 2 miles isn't a breeze if you're throwing up and wishing you had on a diaper the

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-46198470132569390442011-10-06T23:25:00.002-05:002011-10-06T23:27:44.294-05:00

Knocked 4 miles out today! Just had to say YAY! Went to the TOPS meeting. Is it bad that I walked away having no clue it is what they really do? Should I go to a different one? I ate a sandwich and a small pile of fries with ketchup and pickles. Pickles dipped in ketchup yum!

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-18557568550473998472011-10-06T16:00:00.000-05:002011-10-06T16:03:58.783-05:00

So I spent a few days being sick (since Sunday late). It was my turn, knew I had it coming. I got in 2 miles last night. It seemed to take forever. I've spent half of today awake. This virus doesn't seem to be done playing with me. And he brought home another bug from his work. So far I haven't caught that one...yet. But most of all I wish I could pat myself for getting out there and doing

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-618466484894116112011-10-02T15:00:00.001-05:002011-10-02T15:06:17.486-05:00

Still no rabbit sighting. I should be patting myself on the back for this past week, but I'm not. Instead I'm feeling bad. I got in 12 miles. Eating has been loose and drinking has been bad. I've been in a state of agitation this past week. There's been to many 'not enough' thoughts. Upset at feeling never quite caught up. And it's getting chilly out there. to accomplish this week: more mileage

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-35200844116674735262011-09-21T23:30:00.001-05:002011-09-21T23:56:09.739-05:00

If I could take a picture of this rock that is frustrating me so greatly would it be the size of a small pebble or more comparable to one with great heft? Since the Rabbit has, oh let's say, left the building I've been left contemplating what in the hell this rock is for. I mean it took me how long to realize what the rabbit was. And if it is what I am to believe, then why has it left me? Or is

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-24831126762321484712011-09-12T13:00:00.000-05:002011-09-12T13:01:42.802-05:00

off chasing the rabbit... ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- edited:9/2 ran a quarter mile for the first time - couldn't believe that my body didn't give out, this coming from only being able to run a block before - exhilarated9/8 Chasing The Rabbit is so much more than me running, but I don't wish to share much more than right now. I can tell you that I

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-37449365102855589372011-08-22T03:00:00.001-05:002011-08-22T03:00:50.873-05:00

My sleep cycle is still out of whack. As in I'm not sleeping, much. Almost 3 and well hello there. Catching up though on all that I lost last week. And with each thing that I check off I have these little moments of clarity. Have I really been checked out that long?? 4 months? Holy cow...not good. I know this will swing back into a normal pattern soon but in the meantime I'd like to hurry it up

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-22440720306497261162011-08-19T00:50:00.002-05:002011-08-19T00:55:34.025-05:00

Anxiety blows! One of my teens decided to go back to public school. I'm cool with that. However getting everything lined out and up has found me an anxious ball of raw spaghetti worms. Went out and did the whole back to school shopping thing. Holy cow!! Perhaps I should sell my blood to cover the bill. Can you imagine if they all decided to go - flat out broke. We've been out of the system for

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-74114427771465935132011-08-17T00:50:00.003-05:002011-08-17T01:13:14.652-05:00

Thank you for asking where I have been. I have not been is where I have been. So.. Saturday I took a 2 mile hike in the Hundred Acre Woods. And since then... My daughter has made the team. My mom had a heart attack. My son got electrocuted, 220, at work. I once slept 14 hours straight. My other mom (post stroke drama) continues to question (in a negative light) everything in general. I got

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-36587183064458291602011-08-12T09:40:00.000-05:002011-08-12T09:44:55.271-05:00

On a roll here! Just finished my 3rd 5k walk/run this week. Another day I did 2 flights of stairs up and down 20 times. So I'm not only holding down the pavement, but buildings as well! :D hee hee I'm in good spirits. Have had a mental breakthrough and trying to congeal it into a possible post to tag with Monday's. I haven't self inflicted any more injuries. Doing quite well! :) Happy! Happy

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-70385186682546073342011-08-09T01:00:00.007-05:002011-08-09T01:24:34.511-05:00

****warning, not for the immature or children, content is disturbing**** Throwing myself out here so I can be seen, by myself. I have to admit reality, even if it ain't pretty and even if I'd rather not. I hate throwing up. I hate binge eating a ton of fries, a binge favorite, and then having to throw them back up. Throwing up fries is gross. They come up dry, in chunks, and you feel as if

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-37373379786275164232011-08-08T13:15:00.005-05:002011-08-08T13:21:12.646-05:00

So here's the 1st check in for my August Meltdown 1 & 2 No apps have been set yet 3 did a 5k last night 4 I can recall only 2 days that were Sparked 5 I'm here checking in - which means I'm alive, woohoo!!! I've had a rough week. I've been quite detatched from myself and consequently as well unable to do much. Yesterday I decided to just shove through and do something. And this morning finds me

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-25352844467266378362011-08-07T22:15:00.002-05:002011-08-07T22:21:43.307-05:00

hee hee I know... This will be short. Just patting myself on the back and high fiving. :D I didn't quit. I just kept going. I did a 5k today walk/run listening to Nicole Blums 5k mp3. Know any other 5k mp3's out there? I like how this one ends. There's this song about time to cool down. Like the last time I completed it I was halfway into the song before it clicked. That, that was it! Yay!! It

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-73345474569131760852011-08-07T00:25:00.001-05:002011-08-07T00:29:03.774-05:00

proud - 2 of my kids graduated a military like encampment this month happy - they're home yeah!! anger - at the betrayal and loss I feel and having to question if it's legit to feel this way hurt - feeling like I been played and I should have known better lost - my house has become a mess with other peoples stuff satisfied - I have a full carload ready for donations amazed - wow some of that old

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-18530626785337745542011-08-03T11:30:00.000-05:002011-08-03T11:35:37.629-05:00

warning - this post may be confusing and/or disturbing - not recommended for children or immature adults Sometimes life throws you these loops. Then you sit back, try to relax your weary self and go wow what just happened... I want to scream but I don't think I have the energy to or my brain just says who the hell cares it doesn't matter...nothing does any more. I'm trying, really I am. I'm

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-46594285165217144582011-07-28T23:45:00.003-05:002011-07-28T23:46:52.171-05:00

It is fantastic! Sweating! :D I have had an issue of not sweating at all or very little. Consequently when you don't sweat you have a tendency to overheat very easy. It's long been suspected that my thyroid condition has played a role in not sweating. Something though has changed. Sometime last year I began to sweat a little more, but nothing like this. The last few out and abouts I have become

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-41384882409982258412011-07-27T16:30:00.000-05:002011-07-27T16:30:13.179-05:00

I'm going to run with a new plan for August. And.. I've decided to start it early because I need to. :) I have a tendency to take on so much (people included) and somehow not take on me. I X myself out of the picture. Currently only five of the folks really truly should depend on me. Make that six, that last one being me. The others need to expand their support system and one could really step

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-72969530190442147152011-07-25T01:00:00.002-05:002011-07-25T01:12:56.167-05:00

Still alive! I've been ummm well getting used to my new life. I am now the caretaker to both of my moms. This past week has been an adjustment trial and error. In fact the next few weeks are probably going to be more of the same. Is there a crash course on becoming a caregiver to two people at roughly the same time. And of course I'm still a mom to five. And then there's him. And a dog and a

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-54853815693226798402011-07-06T14:35:00.001-05:002011-07-06T14:38:17.706-05:00

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-65287663805892035692011-07-05T13:10:00.001-05:002011-07-05T13:12:51.460-05:00

I dragged myself to the carnival last evening, for the family. We went to see the 4th's fireworks. Decided to treat the kiddos to something they rarely have had the chance to do, rides. They all had a blast! I wasn't sure how I would react to all the chaos in the current state I've been in. Amazing I didn't do to bad with the anxiety. I stayed pretty much on the outside edges and did a whole lot

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-74966352748327374102011-07-03T14:24:00.000-05:002011-07-03T14:24:40.814-05:00

I paid the bills, mailed the mail, visited the library, watered some of the flowers, took a bath, and watched a movie. That was Friday and Saturday... Buhhh... Today? I'm feeling lost. I have all this anxiety inside I have no idea what for or what to do with. I'm so lost in my place that I'm having a hard time focusing on the folks around me that need me to show a little attention to them.

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-22614064826991937942011-07-02T00:30:00.002-05:002011-07-02T00:36:50.392-05:00

screw idle Sometimes the hardest thing to do is put one foot in front of the other. So.... I got cleaned up and I left the house. It was hard. Really. I ran a few errands, but before I left I made a few neglected yet important phone calls. And now I'm contemplating signing up for another 5K coming up in a few months. Because I so liked what I was doing before and so want to get back at

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-28607522898713341942011-07-01T12:55:00.000-05:002011-07-01T12:57:39.963-05:00

I got a list a mile long or more. It's currently all in my head. That is, when I can keep track of what's on it. Unfortunately I can't seem to motivate myself to get up and do anything. Yesterdays highlight, I made a gallon of sun tea. Today I'm stopping by here and saying hello. I don't know if I'm struggling with a transition from a world consumed by mom and all her needs/wants to my own life

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-63729960778871509772011-06-27T08:00:00.002-05:002011-06-27T08:17:05.779-05:00

The last post I talked about feeling/being poisoned, among other (physical) things that I have currently going on. I want to touch base with the poisoned part today. For 16+years I have put her on a pedestal. I take responsibility for that. I take responsibility for taking all the shit she was throwing my way and eating it. I had a choice. Even if at the time(s) I didn't realize it, I did have

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-84568011649187048972011-06-21T01:06:00.003-05:002011-06-21T01:14:35.576-05:00

I've been poisoned. Why has it taken me this long to realize? Is there a cure? It's no longer just a part of the heart and soul hurting. My whole being is wretching from this. I can no longer cope the way I used to. For the most part I have successfully broken quite a few negative coping mechanisms that I thought helped me so well. I broke down and cried last week outside of Sam's. I just sat

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-13441805003048577522011-06-14T09:50:00.000-05:002011-06-14T09:53:31.602-05:00

and it all started with me not getting the sleep I so very much needed. I regrettably jumped out of the the new way of eating I've tried to adopt (LCHF) and went back to the old. Fortunately my weight hasn't skyrocketed to the moon but I'm not happy it went back to the last set point. I am happy it didn't go back further. So just a few to ditch...again. My whole being is out of whack. I have

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-91314180536098095192011-06-02T02:03:00.000-05:002011-06-02T02:03:13.731-05:00

I have been running pretty much non stop the last two days and to be honest the title to this post sais it all. Cat scans, doctor appointments, gassing the vehicles up, very long round trips, errands to run, i's to dot and t's to cross, lots and lots of decisions to make and loads of packing tape and bubble wrap. It has been sheer insanity since Tuesday morning. Now it's 1:30 am Thursday morning

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-310076909836877852011-06-02T01:20:00.001-05:002011-06-02T01:21:31.956-05:00

So yesterday June 1st was the kick off for the Small Change Challenge. Hope you click on the links, read all about it, and join in! My small change challenge this week will be getting out for walks. Since the recent upheaval in my family life I have been really neglecting this area of my well being. The last few days I've been edging myself closer to the door and at the last minute back down.

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-35426691791153997192011-05-31T16:55:00.001-05:002011-05-31T16:59:13.575-05:00

Birthday weekend was great. Every year since I've turned 30 I've said I'm getting old. Heehee, maybe, maybe not. I've got a few silver hairs here and there. I get stiff when I sit to long. I find myself making notes, oh no. I don't mind walking slower. Finding a warm spot in the sun a little bit each day is a must for me. There I've given you a few clues. Can you figure out how old I am? Yes, a

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-64767098084208194462011-05-27T08:00:00.003-05:002011-05-27T08:17:54.817-05:00

For my birthday? Awesome!!! It's official, this weekend, starting right now kicks off my birthday weekend palooza!!!! Yes the entire three day weekend!!! That's what happens when you're born around or on a holiday that's not Christmas or Easter. At least that's what has happened with my birthday every since I can remember. So first off.... HAPPY BIRTHDAY to ME!!!!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY to MEEEE

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-81607564157478092062011-05-26T15:24:00.000-05:002011-05-26T15:24:18.384-05:00

I've been in a lul all morning. I've had no objective to work towards, no plans to be checked off some list because hey the plan list got tossed out the window when the world (family issues) hit the fan. So why haven't I done anything today, aside from a bath, breakfast, and a nap? Yes I just realized I have been sitting here for the last few hours doing absolutely nothing. With absolutely

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-77747804519929008982011-05-25T01:05:00.001-05:002011-05-25T01:06:00.274-05:00

ER's mom is still alive. Monday evening was the last we checked in on her. For some reason she has it in her head that, oh idk, the world is against her getting better. Emotionally exhausting just to check in on her and give her a little company. No matter how you try to divert the conversation to something positive it goes right back to frustration, agitation, possibly paranoia talk. It's a

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-7947300265002024492011-05-23T10:40:00.000-05:002011-05-23T10:40:37.603-05:00

I told him, ER, that I couldn't function. That she, I and my brother's mother, wanted us to leave her in a house that was burning to the ground, not literally. I'm sitting here blogging and I don't even know if she's alive. He, her husband, snapped again yesterday and as usual she was his target. She wouldn't call the police. She did call me. We, my brother and I, got him to leave the house for

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-44989289737014841812011-05-22T07:10:00.001-05:002011-05-22T07:11:07.500-05:00

Wooooohoooo!!! I'm STILL HERE!!!! YAY!!!! WOOOHOOOOOOO!!!!! Wait! Wait! What? I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Hmm? You know with all the gettin' to know you stuff and makin' you my leader thing. You know? You all know? You know what I mean? 'Cuz if the Apocalypse did happen yesterday and I'm still here.... Sh*t!! Oh sorry (blushes) I guess I still have problems with

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-68866415913606559832011-05-21T11:13:00.000-05:002011-05-21T11:13:42.718-05:00

I wear the same clothes all the time. Each and everyday now for what seems like a very long time, probably years, I have worn the same thing. I wear nothing different, well hardly ever, and never without dire emotional consequences. They're the same color and style of tee and jeans or shorts. I own multiple copies of each and they get laundered on schedule. However, I have given quite a few

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-30848636391754257462011-05-16T10:30:00.004-05:002011-05-16T10:37:28.816-05:00

But first, to all of you reaching out to me a big THANK YOU. I truly appreciate your kindness and advice. (((hugs to all))) Well I'm down 3lbs to 311. Let me tell you first up how weird I think that is. I've ate countless many double cheeseburgers (some with bacon or lets say extra bacon), lots of dirty eggs, sausage, and bacon (both regular pork and turkey style, fried in every kind of oil,

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-76684124591621604322011-05-16T00:25:00.006-05:002011-05-16T00:31:02.672-05:00

Out of the ICU and out of the regular hospital room, so outa the hospital - period - for now. Amazing and incredibly lucky this lady is. She walks, talks, and can somewhat take care of herself. This time around she is further out, seems a lot more confused. Back in the nursing home for a while.  For how long is any one's guess. They didn't expect her to last through the night. She was expected to

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-16192481957516728092011-05-11T09:20:00.001-05:002011-05-11T09:24:40.598-05:00

She made it through the first 24 hours again. She's had two different types of strokes, 13 days apart. The first was ischemic and the second hemorrhagic. Amazingly she has survived both, so far. She has use of her limbs and her mouth. Her mind remains scrambled. This second go around has she's been bed ridden as they are unsure as to whether she knows how to use her legs, even though she can move

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-42024758734471642832011-05-10T14:45:00.002-05:002011-05-10T14:46:53.162-05:00

She's had another stroke, late last night. Deep bleeding in the brain and in the ICU currently. Taking it moment by moment - what else can you do.

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-83308143405031731412011-05-09T07:05:00.001-05:002011-05-09T07:08:03.164-05:00

It's a brand new week! I started back Saturday cutting down the carbs. Again, this previous week I had gone back to eating to many. It's weird that I get stressed out in a given moment and I immediately think of Subway bread, something I don't even like. Not that I give in that easily, but it's thoughts like those. I haven't been counting calories. Although I can't help it if I do sort of. I

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-15134808039927526392011-05-04T01:00:00.001-05:002011-05-04T01:06:55.293-05:00

look away mad lunatic blogger ranting Can I just say these things to the whole f''n world without catching sh't for it? What in the hell is wrong with me? Why should I care what anyone thinks? And why do I? Is it that since I was little I was constantly and consistently reminded to be a good little girl? And of course, that came with it's own hand book of rules on how to be a good little

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-6433436856138177412011-05-02T00:20:00.000-05:002011-05-02T00:50:38.458-05:00

That's what I'm feeling like. A tired, worn out, sick, sad, big fat blob. But.... Inside Yah, inside this big fat blob is a fighting fit girl screaming to be let loose. I ran out of my stash of SoBe's (again I'm a baby) and instead of turning to plain old water (YUCK!) I drank coke or pepsi instead these last two days - Sat and Sun. Which triggered a what the hell might as well eat the buns

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-13524342989587554302011-04-29T23:35:00.002-05:002011-04-29T23:38:41.193-05:00

I haven't eaten much at all since I last posted. I don't even want to discuss why I did/do what I do. I'm home now, finally. I did have one great early morning walk/run before the madness resumed. Mom is in a nursing home now. I missed out on the race, so did my #1 guy (my son) who was planning on taking a run at first place in his age division. And I missed out on meeting Teale and getting a

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-45900865944086347572011-04-28T03:15:00.000-05:002011-04-28T03:15:56.982-05:00

I'm so done already. Back to our regular program. Tuesday night after a few brief frantic phone calls we learned my mil wasn't all there as should be. After the ambulance got her to the other hospital and we got rerouted in the direction where they sent her it was a long night. In short, she had a stroke. She is one lucky lady though as she has use of her arms, legs, and mouth. It's just her

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-80892733938107717542011-04-25T22:30:00.001-05:002011-04-25T22:34:57.919-05:00

In preparation for this coming Friday I went on another walk this evening. In the rain, woohoo! This time, since my foot has been feeling better (a little bit), I did some running. I walk/ran a mile in 13 minutes. My total walk was 1.6 miles. By the time I was finished I was drenched, but happy. It's hard, running. I can only go so far. I can't seem to kick in the clutch to get to the next gear.

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-14553454065716806352011-04-25T18:30:00.004-05:002011-04-25T18:37:41.659-05:00

Okay you all, here is what I ate today low carb style. I have no clue if this is what it's supposed to look like, but maybe I'm close. Tell me, please, how'd I do? Slept in real late as I was working last night, so I skipped breakfast. Lunch 7oz cube steak 1 tsp A1 steak sauce (yes I measured) 1 1/2 cup iceberg salad mix 9 tsp yogurt caesar .25 cup mushrooms 1/2 tomato chopped 1tsp blue cheese

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-39702357594606704882011-04-24T22:35:00.000-05:002011-04-24T22:40:31.072-05:00

That's exactly what it feels like I'm trying to do, learn a foreign language. I have tried very hard to absorb low carbness via reading the net. My brain hurts. I get the concept. That's not really my issue. It's what do I eat!!? Sigh... Am I really making things harder than necessary? I'm known to do that, or as it has been called in my family - ass backwards. I get the meat part no problem

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-13240260223659400422011-04-23T02:25:00.004-05:002011-04-23T02:28:34.722-05:00

shhhh, don't tell me it's Saturday - I don't want to know! Belated BYOC Friday 1. In the spirit of Easter, what is your all time favorite Easter candy? Please, pretty please be nice to me. I don't really like Easter candy that much. I do like jelly beans. So I'll list that as my Easter favorite. Give me a choice over hard candy or chocolate I'd pick the candy. ;-)  And I like the

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-3555054828574944542011-04-19T23:40:00.002-05:002011-04-19T23:49:43.474-05:00

okay that's just sheer sarcasm...snickers Most of the stuff I recently got is planted. The tomato and the petunias are the exception. My son and I got out dirt from the shiny spaceship with wheels to mix with the old dirt and you might as well have shined a light on us. This dirt anyways will be recycled into the bigger garden next year. Back to the this way over here is all the fun light. This

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-88206510661310851172011-04-18T08:24:00.000-05:002011-04-18T08:24:52.244-05:00

It's a beautiful Monday morning. The sunshine rolled in my window with little birdies chirping. So why am I sad? I want something I can't seem to reach. It distresses me. I tried to stay around last week and post something/anything even though I didn't feel I had much to say/blog about. Just the usual bs that happens around here. On a good note about the unwanted male attention, one of my

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-32442610490802324302011-04-16T22:40:00.001-05:002011-04-16T22:41:18.679-05:00

I'm tired of being let down by those folks I invest my time and self in. I'm tired of being played. I hate that I keep on believing. That I keep on trying with others. This person I just need to push further away. It's all a game with them. ...just tired

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-6685603209627240202011-04-15T00:47:00.001-05:002011-04-15T01:31:39.953-05:00

So this guy, he walks past me bumping into the bench I'm sitting on. No oops sorry or anything. Just kept going until he reached the pool. A graying, hairy, barrel chested guy in a tight speedo who had his eyes on someone. He gets in the swim lane she's in and stands there for her to get back. Why?! He's there to make small flirty chat. He's 40ish and she's my baby. She stops short of completing

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-51573390213645437712011-04-13T21:36:00.000-05:002011-04-13T21:36:34.476-05:00

Boom! Smokin! 2.5 in 40 tonight. I'm starting to see a nice chunk knocked off of my estimated 5K finish time. Feels good! Most of this was walking. I did jog 2 small sections and kept going towards the end. That felt weird just being able to jog and not stop to gasp for air. I'm still no where near able to jog a whole mile. And to those that can, awesome. I can jog a minute comfortably and that's

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-78903091447893562652011-04-12T14:58:00.001-05:002011-04-12T14:58:56.811-05:00

And I have to tell her no. I'm such a dork. Do you remember me putting out here that I needed to go back to the dentist and the oral surgeon? Well I've done that. I had oral surgery this morning to remove three more back teeth. That's five gone and three left to go. Maybe four, but they're not sure they want to mess that one. My oral surgeon was making all this conversation about being a

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-30918188709057154002011-04-10T00:44:00.000-05:002011-04-10T00:44:01.114-05:00

Yay! I finished my first at home, on purpose 5K. I figured on it being an hour ten and it was an hour nine. I iced my feet afterwards. Oh! Wow! Chilly!! Had them sit in an ice water bath for 5 minutes and they ended up feeling like rubber. I have a blister on the outside edge of my left heel and my two middle toes are flamin' mad. Right foot is still bothering me. But me? I'm feeling great!

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-4238733737225335982011-04-08T13:45:00.000-05:002011-04-08T13:45:45.910-05:00

Last night's 1.6 done in 30. Tonight will be the long one, the 5K. Not pushin' for time as the most important thing for me here is to just finish. However I will be back later to edit and record how long it took. It's funny that I'm scared of a 5K. I've walked plenty of times in the past more mileage than that. But I plan all this out on the map and my mind freaks out. It looks at that long

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-38734619830960432202011-04-07T07:30:00.000-05:002011-04-07T07:31:31.938-05:00

Went out last night to tackle a 1.6 and rang it in 31 min. I wish I was the Little Engine That Could, all that positivity. Instead I have a mental tantrum the whole way, but I do get the job done. I scream at myself for being such a turtle. In part because it wasn't but a few years ago that I was able to nail a 17 min walking mile and when it was really good a 15. However when it was all done and

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-73732903930667045822011-04-06T15:18:00.000-05:002011-04-06T15:18:11.524-05:00

In order to do things for me I have to be a bit selfish. If that means time alone for me to exercise or to take a bath. And even to figure out calorically where I'm at. I have to eek out a small space of time for me. I get interupted taking baths. I'm used to that. It's like getting interupted talking on the phone. For some reason the universe is all calm until I either a. talk on the phone or b.

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-87492570802042842342011-04-05T22:10:00.000-05:002011-04-05T22:10:41.767-05:00

New shoes too. Yesterday was a 1.57 in 35 and today was 1.74 in the same amount of time. I'm kicking myself in the ankles with my heels when I walk faster than normal and when I run. It's frustrating. I got an exercise ball of recent as well. It's pretty fun to sit in and lay back on. At first I couldn't get myself back up. My back was to weak. Now I've figured it out and have been practicing it.

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-70400310999217563142011-04-04T09:22:00.000-05:002011-04-04T09:22:04.657-05:00

I started back to eating Friday night. However I'm back to liquid today, well modified liquid. I visited somewhere scary and yep freaked out.  Someone was posting about their mental garden, I think flower garden (mental imagery). Anyways I liked the idea. If I'm correct the concept was to pull up the bad and plant the good. Speaking of mental imagery I took the time this weekend to write down the

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-3268357080941205982011-03-31T12:04:00.000-05:002011-03-31T12:04:31.342-05:00

Here's what I'm noticing. I'm pissed off. I'm very angry. And I feel rejected. I hurt. Without putting solid food into my gut, these emotions are surfacing. On top of those because they seem to be high, as in tight, I'm sad, tired, and exhausted. I've been a bit suicidal. Having thoughts of why bother living. Not trying to distress anyone. And see that pisses me off. Thinking that somehow I

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-85419366993139497982011-03-29T23:44:00.001-05:002011-03-29T23:46:29.786-05:00

You know what pisses me off? Two chubbies in a truck. We were out jogging on a local trail and a road runs nearby. This truck approaches, slows down, and inside were two chubbie males. I'm alert and obviously pay close attention to detail. I could tell you the license plate, but that's not the point. I was on the farther side of the trail from the truck taking a chill. They made eye contact

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-72265212158983640192011-03-29T04:03:00.000-05:002011-03-29T04:03:57.480-05:00

It's back. I've been up since 1:30 and it's 3:30 now. Drat! I caught a few days where I was down for 5 and one for 6. I was only down for 3 1/2 tonight and I can't seem to get back. I think part of it is my back. It has been bothering me quite a bit of recent. And the other part is my wee brain, which is on overdrive. Oh and lets not forget the weather. It always seems to have an affect on my

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-44070379697925980882011-03-28T10:29:00.000-05:002011-03-28T10:29:37.498-05:00

I saw this on Deb's and another gal's blog. I'm being lazy, sorry I didn't track down the link backs. So if you happen to drop in just holla at me for doing so. I'm freaking myself out. The thought of no food for the next 10 days, I don't relish it. See relish? It's a food...haha. Anyways I'm making up my own Hard 10. I thought it a great idea and wanted to join in on the fun. For my Hard 10

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-70784909900992037012011-03-23T12:23:00.000-05:002011-03-23T12:23:51.392-05:00

I played at the playground (gym) this morning. First time back playing in a few weeks and it felt good. No weight lifting just cardio. I walked/jogged for 50 minutes and then played basketball with the littles for 30. We worked up an appetite. So sitting down to a yummy salad and yogurt for lunch. I can't even get across in words how it makes me feel just to go play. I haven't lost a lot (not

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-115139305467108952011-03-23T03:50:00.004-05:002011-03-23T03:50:33.190-05:00

The last couple of days I have been really lazing around the house. I've had no energy and I seem to be in an all familiar fog of desperation anxiety with a side of depression. Best I can describe it is being extremely anxious, but unable to do anything about it. Today I felt like I was suffocating. My skin felt clammy. I had this huge headache. Along with feeling dizzy and it was like my brain

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-32836085186651426242011-03-19T01:15:00.001-05:002011-03-19T01:23:07.826-05:00

sum it up: deep crackle cough not gone hacking up goo feel ooo-yucky crazed out of mind thought I could play kickball battle over ball fell on concrete twisted up foot, slammed knee, nice big scab, hand through garage door sitting at poolside sucking down chlorine till I choke lost doctor moving away tired of being on long extended break thanks to icky ick still crazy and went to park ran and

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-45823944833878144802011-03-13T01:00:00.001-06:002011-03-13T01:06:43.188-06:00

Hopefully this will pass soon. It comes and goes in cycles. I've been staying up late, real late. I don't sleep much, maybe 3-4 hours a clip. I should say it still comes and goes in cycles; just not as deep as years past. I don't know what triggers it or what causes it to go away. I just live with it. I only start to worry when it goes on months and months on end. So I've been staying up late, go

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-66810071159523316412011-03-11T00:00:00.000-06:002011-03-11T00:23:44.728-06:00

between the shoulders and a sore neck. Which quickly progressed into a full blown just plain nasty headache. And then there was a tickle. Followed by feeling like all the batteries had been drained. A screaming sore throat. Chills! No wait, to hot. And the temp couldn't make up it's mind. Then full on congestion set in. And hacking and wheezing feeling, like I was wearing an elephant in a front

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-23629036099227928642011-03-03T16:03:00.001-06:002011-03-03T16:05:34.694-06:00

there it is, the pull through Oh ya! Burn baby! Burn! gym stuff today: c25k w1d1 - done + 20 min added walking = 45 minutes total 35 min additional walking after weights and machines, then a 5 min cool down putter = 40 minutes total minutes invested 85 weights: 15lb curls sets 1,2 & 3 12 reps each 5lb front raises each shoulder sets 1,2, & 3 12 reps each 5lb side raises each shoulder sets 1

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-62030611509991155742011-03-03T11:55:00.003-06:002011-03-03T12:01:56.453-06:00

that represent feelings fear, scared, anxious, hope, perseverance, belief Fear of the unknown. Scared that. Anxious that it is time. Anxious that it might hurt. I might fail. Scared that. Hope that there is improvement. Hope that the light I see leads me to a higher place. Scared of crashing. Everyday, always in the back of your mind, never lose sight. Believe I can. Believe I will. Believe I

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-65288259223585241832011-03-01T11:55:00.000-06:002011-03-01T11:55:38.268-06:00

heart rate monitoring I saw Jen over at PriorFatGirl talking about Polar heart rate monitors. I decided to go check out the place. Neat! Anyways I found this cool link and it let's you check out the various training zones. You can get out your own calc and do the math or you can plug your info right there and it does the work for you. Yesterday my average heart rate for the 6 mile recumbent

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-27484124815378949162011-02-28T23:59:00.000-06:002011-02-28T23:59:30.291-06:00

& hairball I am spent. And eagerly looking forward to putting my feet up. today's gym/home exercise activity: 24 laps = walking 21 and running 3; 18 laps =1mile, so 1 and 1/3 mile done 30 min 10-12 resistance 11-15 mph , 6 miles recumbent bike 1 1/3 mile doing the hamster - 2 minutes 45 sec ran so that equals 6 mile rode and 2 2/3 miles walk/run 4 flights of stairs 75 counter top push ups 30

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-51085357552986718132011-02-27T23:54:00.000-06:002011-02-27T23:54:02.308-06:00

& perception I hate leaving not feeling as if I had done enough. As if all that I had done isn't much. I know it's mental based messed up perception. Yet I sit here after a 2 hour nap (dang it I can't sleep) thinking I should have done more. And therein lies the haunt. I will acknowledge it and also acknowledge that yes I had a good workout. today's gym activity: 6 min hill climb elliptical 2

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-85386521331913840862011-02-26T01:54:00.000-06:002011-02-26T01:54:49.953-06:00

Ok I'm back. No need to go over why I left. I think. Unless... I'm back. Cool? I took my measurements tonight. Hoorah - sort of. The Plate of Doom is a sadistic bitch. So I'll pass and report back on Monday with that hairball. In the meantime you can scratch your head with me. My measurements have changed, I think it's weird in ways, once again. At least I find them sort of amusing as to

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-71491996579699345722011-02-16T08:56:00.002-06:002011-02-16T08:56:40.760-06:00

My shirataki noodle review and recipe is up at Cafe' Twix. :)

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-84637853323648342062011-02-15T12:00:00.013-06:002011-02-15T12:14:29.866-06:00

1. Days 1-13 are up and soon 14 & 15 will join them - oh and I will get my shira noodle review in with a recipe - k? look over at cafe sometime by wed night 2. calorie limit is 11,000 and calories eaten was 11,110 3. grand liquid total for the week was 535oz - 1 day didn't meet goal 4 -7.  3 45min walks, 6 2min running sessions, no elliptical, 3 45min weight training sessions = 135 min, so 45

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-71956757791660293442011-02-09T22:53:00.001-06:002011-02-10T12:14:43.806-06:00

–noun a person who commits or practices sabotage Oh me, oh my. I been so stupid. I don't know why I open my fat mouth to tell someone who I clearly expect, and rightly should be, to be supportive of me in my efforts of weight loss and better health when I know beyond a shadow of a doubt this person never has been. This person, lets say a she, visited my house recently after the fact I told her

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-13292816851587411212011-02-08T10:39:00.000-06:002011-02-08T10:39:37.589-06:00

Aside from the fact that I come home superwoman high. I didn't want to go yesterday. I went. I didn't want to run. I did. I didn't want to do the hamster more than 30. I went 40. Then I didn't want to get off and did 5 more. I only wanted to do a few sets and go home. I stayed and did more. And more. Then I told my right hand guy lets go home. He said ok as soon as he was done doing his last

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-51900910086532904312011-02-07T00:20:00.001-06:002011-02-07T00:27:58.323-06:00

First 6 days 1. Feb. 1 - 6 is up and counted. Hit some bumps, readjusted the seat belt. 2. the first week was 6 days so 11000 / 7  = roughly 1571, missing a day (monday was in Jan and not being counted for feb) so 11000 - 1571 = 9429, calories eaten  for days 1-6  = 9522 3. days 1 - 6 grand total = 460 oz - interesting side note 460 / 6 = roughly 76 4. I did two walks, 35 min each. 5. 2 hours

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-80651045846284148852011-02-06T03:35:00.000-06:002011-02-06T03:35:46.267-06:00

I can't sleep. I want to. I'm scared. Yesterday, Saturday before noon, I went somewhere and I witnessed something I didn't take into account beforehand what my reaction would be. I went to be a support for someone else. I nearly lost it. Afterwards I wanted to puke. I just wanted to barf. So.... I did something I'm not proud of. I ate. I stuffed feeling like wanting to barf with food.

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-65014038696952676492011-02-01T23:48:00.000-06:002011-02-01T23:48:36.786-06:00

So I'm done with January's Check In's and I got to thinking what next. What next? I got to thinking about things I struggled with last month and how I want them to shine. I want to shine in these areas. I also got to thinking what else do I want to see myself doing this month. What others things do I need to do for myself? And then that title up there hit me and I'm going with it. February's

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-1164333584836228962011-02-01T02:20:00.003-06:002011-02-01T02:24:32.403-06:00

It's here! Finally here! Hooray! Oh - I'm just being silly. I so wanted to post this much much earlier. I am sorry it didn't happen. I could have posted it without the photos. But I didn't want to. :( That would have been sad. My photo guy got sick last night (sad, yuck) shortly after I posted that last post. He was bleh all day. Tonight however he managed down some chicken soup, guzzled 

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-80583065389360676192011-01-30T23:55:00.001-06:002011-01-31T00:16:26.409-06:00

Are you ready? -------------------------------------------- Really ready? -------------------------------------------- :D This is fun! -------------------------------------------- Okay,  I tease. ;-) Here's a before picture of my haircut. My photographer will be taking the after-cut picture tomorrow and I will post it with January's final Monday (I'm not that talented- hee).  I will say I

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-8834192010741183262011-01-28T14:10:00.006-06:002011-01-28T14:14:43.560-06:00

She stumbled down the field. If I was really internet creative I would post a cartoon picture of someone holding up the sky. While lighting bolts were flashing and the water was up to their knees. They would have this severely mangled umbrella held up high over their head, horizontally with both hands in a white knuckle grip. Obviously it wasn't doing any good. If it were a cartoon picture of

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-34079353813105805192011-01-24T13:00:00.004-06:002011-01-24T13:11:57.575-06:00

One monday left to go! 1-4. 2 30 minute walking sessions, 1 25 minute walking with 2 5 minute cool downs and 2 6 minute ellip hill climbing, 3 total hours of weight training, no running 5. nothing to report yet 6. took it and next Monday will take again - wonder if there will be any changes because of all the weight training 7. ate on small plates and a few dinners were in a bowl- soup ;-) 8.

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-7133191030916340172011-01-23T01:56:00.000-06:002011-01-23T01:56:32.165-06:00

Victorious, Smart, Friend, Aware, Alive, Found I'd be right to say all these words described me this week. Each of these words has action behind it that belongs to something I did for me. I'm happy I loved me this week. Actions cannot erase the names or the hurt that I have felt this week. Action, self love & compassion, can heal and propel me forward. ---------- A glimpse into this past

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026036519229897865.post-45235306426749918812011-01-21T08:00:00.001-06:002011-01-21T08:12:03.801-06:00

Lazy Dumb Failure Stupid I'd be wrong to say I'm rock solid and these insults just bounced off of me. I'm hurt. Words can and do hurt. ............. I want to cry, but I'm so disconnected I can't. I want to be angry, but I'm so disconnected I can't. I can feel hurt. And I do. .............. A voice recording from the past. She's talking about me and my cousin. You're such a brick.

Twixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112782947827710096noreply@blogger.com4